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The Only Way
Submitted by Ringtone
March 26, 2009y.


A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. ''Where have you been?'' asked the man. ''I can't believe you left me down there! I couldn't get the tailgate open!''
2 votes, average 5 of 5
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Pencil's House
Submitted by Nisson_Junior
March 23, 2009y.


"Where's your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain. "I ain't got one, Sir." "You're in England.now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I haven't got a pencil. You haven't got a pencil. They haven't got a pencil." "Gee!" said Bud. "Pop said things were tough in this country, but I didn't know pencils were so hard to come by."
4 votes, average 5 of 5
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Subway Special Effects
Submitted by Highlander
March 23, 2009y.


A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?" "I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
4 votes, average 4.25 of 5
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Water Plane
Submitted by Idol_USA
March 23, 2009y.


4 votes, average 5 of 5
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Give It to Your Mom
Submitted by VVenom
March 23, 2009y.


Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!
4 votes, average 5 of 5
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Toyota Hilux vs Ford F-1000 Super Turbo-Alvaro
March 23, 2009y.
7 votes, average 4.71 of 5
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Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Submitted by J_1
March 22, 2009y.


Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job? A: She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
4 votes, average 5 of 5
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Duck Plane
Submitted by Gerald
March 22, 2009y.


A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, Now sit back and relax. - OH MY GOD!" Silence Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said: "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
6 votes, average 5 of 5
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